Thursday 19th February 2026 ⋙
Boundaries, and why your body will let you know.
I could not start this blog section without one of my very favourite topics, which is boundaries. Technically speaking, some of my boundaries are diminished as a hyper-empathic person, although I do not knowingly commit any harm utilising it as psychopaths do, and I do look after myself in the sense that I do not allow myself to get overwhelmed with this often misunderstood and disbelieved pseudo skill that knows no kill switch.
Hyper-empathic tendencies in humans have long been called gifts, superpowers, highly sensitive persons [the worst one yet], evil, and even complete fiction by some, but for me it will always just be about how my brain has evolved in it's original caveman style capability as a way of surviving a world full of potential and actual predatory persons and circumstances.
Many will disagree with me, however if you have a brain, then you too have that original caveman style capability, active or not. There is absolutely nothing spiritual or magical about it.. unless in the presence of a willing spiritual manipulator who is ready to work their own personal wishes through you to their own advantage rather than for your advantage and for what you need to do in life. They will tell you that it is all for your advancement in humanity and the saving of planet earth though, of course.
Boundary violations can show up in mysterious ways, with one particular hidden form being the complete and utter repulsion of a person. This repulsion often shows up when someone is doing some everyday task or function that the majority of our good selves would question as being over the top or unwarranted for feeling repulsed by, although it is 99% the case that the other person is violating or has violated our boundaries and personal values in some shape or form already, or is gearing up to do so in ways which we will later discover down the line of their usually massive trail of destruction. If there can be hyper-empathy, there sure can be hyper-destruction too, and maybe you heard it here first.
To the hyper-empathic, this meet and greet with the same coin yet the opposite side is a three dimensional nod to what we did not do, what we are doing now, and what we can do to protect ourselves in future from hyper-destructive people, using the very recognisable repulsion in ourselves that many now youthfully describe on social media as the 'ick'.
In the past, you may not have been in touch with or trusting enough of your own self in order to create distance between yourself and boundary evaders, or you may not have had much option to to do so in a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. In the present it can be difficult to separate one's self from others, most especially in the case of unrecognised hyper-empathy and even generally in the case of social contagion - with self doubt ruling the day. Foresight is then rendered entirely absent from the picture, leading to a long term recovery process in the future from abuse that originally had some potential to be avoided - a highly punishing realisation for those of us who are more than hard on ourselves due to harsh upbringings and other factors like social pressure.
Although that last paragraph is as groady a read as a run in with a boundary evader in itself, remembering these three ways in a three dimensional world* can be helpful, especially when fostering foresight because the absence of foresight is what the hyper-destructive side of the coin is mainly banking on after the flip lands in their favour one day. They are banking on your choice being all about them. If their side of the coin does not land this time, nor the next, it will land down the line at some point and if we are trusting of our own selves, that landing can be dodged well in advance with the prior knowledge that repulsion gave us.
Boundary evaders are ultimately chancers, and a chance is all that a boundary evader can take - ever. Luckily for us humans, chance can often be successfully minimised.
Repulsion of a person is a high sign that this person is not for you. Listening to that repulsion and honouring how you feel completely is the best gift that you will ever give to yourself... a robust boundary against what is likely a truly hideous, self interested dark triad based person who seeks to destroy everything in their path.. and unwittingly even themselves.
three ways in a 3D world* [what we did not do, what we are doing now, and what we can do to protect ourselves in future] - what I did not do then + I will do now = and this will help to protect me in the future.
#boundaries #selfcare #repulsion
Sunday 22nd February 2026 ⋙
The Pseudo Psychology of Social Media.
If I had to name one life changing element of the introduction of the internet to the general public, it would be communication. The internet has changed the way that we humans communicate and relate to each other on both basic and deeper levels, likely forever. Imagine that the internet ceased to exist overnight. It is unlikely in probability, and more likely that it will outlive humans, although some probability that it will cease to exist one day will always be there, a little light at the end of the tunnel. If you get the air of wishful thinking on my part as you read these words, you would be correct.
Online communication has its plus points, although my view is that those pluses are no longer at the point in time where they were in a sweet spot, where tools were tools, and everything was generally okay with the odd 'troll' in the chat room. There would be the rare multiple personality user entertaining themselves with seventeen different profile ID's, a lack of any real personal identity as they sat behind their screens, masquerading as others. This masquerade continues on, not only in the minds of those with no real sense of self and a troubled mind, but now for many of us in society who are unable to separate online, non reality worlds from their own real in person lives.
For years I have observed people begin to re-shape themselves and the idea of who they really are with profile edits, relationship updates, and little animated avatars that are merely projections of the self into a non reality world that simply does not exist. Life is given to online profiles by their persistent [addictive] use, with their death only apparent should the active choice to not go there be made or ability to access the web cease to exist. Looking at it like this, it is easier to see where blurry lines between the two can cause confusion for our wonderful human brains.
I had been an avid user of then platform Twitter since discovering it in my personal research for ways to communicate online, which back then [2005] was mainly having a web page of some kind, or weblog aka blog / blogging, chat box, or chat room. When I found Twitter, it was touted as a 'micro-blogging' service. This suited my then minimalist lifestyle completely, what a match. Very few people used Twitter at that time, it was in a sweet spot full of designers, writers, and other creatives, with the occasional 'what I had for dinner' image post being a novelty way to record changing dietary patterns through the seasons without making a pen and paper notepad entry each day. Free image hosting, yeehaw.
I first realised that social media would become a big issue for society a bit later down the line in around 2010-2011 [potentially later]. The destructive addition of politics was still scarce on Twitter, and things were better in the UK society wise back then. Twitter was still a great platform to keep up with designers, art galleries, music, and a little bit of silliness here and there. A novelty account called 'God' was a good occasional laugh. Their satirical tweets popped up in Tweet Deck now and then and broke up a study at home day nicely.
One day, 'God' appealed to the inner child in all, by asking their lowly followers 'what would you like to do when you grow up?'. I frivolously responded with my world, that I would like to be at home looking after my lovely family, cooking, cleaning up, and generally being a mother and a wife.
Surprisingly, a reply notification quickly peeped... it was 'God'.
'God' had not liked my response one bit, and said something along the lines of 'it is misogynists like you that deserve a good slap in the face'. I laugh about it now knowing fully that this was not who I was, but goodness me did this account make me question my values and good intentions in the world for a long 24 hours. It also took me back to many violent memories.
I had in those past five or six years battled and released myself from the first stages of an eleven year domestically and psychologically violent relationship, which was so overbearing that I then believed that I was everything inaccurate that I was told that I was. I was aware that my output could indeed sometimes be off as a survival mechanism, and I had worked on myself to clean that damage up, however misogyny? Nah. What I wanted to do in the world was never based on misogyny, it was based on my own small plans for enjoyment and satisfaction in life, which largely revolve around love and the wish to build and nurture my own family.
'God' on Twitter had taken my good intentions to live my own life, and overlaid them with their own ideas, a pseudo psychology which simply did not exist in my world. Pseudo psychology is exactly that, an inaccurate projection based on the triggers and assumptions of a disgruntled, or biased party. Luckily for me, I was in a good enough place at the time to be able to recognise it soon after it landed upon my psyche.
This discovery of pseudo psychology online through the account called 'God', enabled the quick death of my Twitter account in those following 24 hours. I realised that the harm that that could be done in this manner was vast, and went on to observe Twitter go on to explode with accounts that claimed to help others recover from 'Narcissists' [a non existent pseudo psychology term], along with a slew of the general public throwing bias and opinion around onto others, the advent of sports, political figures, and covid-19 vaccination being a high time for this.
The worst part of pseudo psychology on social media is how it is actively being taken on by the minds of some professionals who work in industries with vulnerable people in our society, not only contributing to the ruination of these professions credibility wise, but by selfishly furthering the harm that they continually expose themselves to in order for that non reality to live on, when it really should not be running and present in the room for overlaying upon other people at all. This seriously unhealthy transfer also occurs between parent and child.
Social Media likely still has good sides, I previously went on to use it for business purposes and also managed to catch the most perfect spiritual teacher for me through my presence there, however Pseudo Psychology remains as a highly damaging aspect of social media that I think that people are less inclined to see, a social degradation that is largely in the control of the user only. The novelty aspect that reels us in only serves to veil the dangerous entity that is created through the advent of people wishing to exist in non reality, communicating in the absolute absence of that which makes us all human.. face to face connection.
selected common pseudo psychology social media terms; delulu, the ick, trad [aka traditional anything, wife,etc], narcissist, karen, strangie, normie, manosphere.
#pseudopsychology #socialmedia #communication
Wednesday 25th February 2026 ⋙
The Importance of a Smile.
Smile! - you're on camera, Smile! - or your face will break, crack a smile 'love'.
The majority of us have had experience of some of these phrases in our lifetimes, if not passing in nature at least.. and as abrasive and controlling that these phrases can be, it turns out that there is actual science that backs why some of us are so desperate to see a smile sometimes, no matter what social dysfunction we might have to engage in to get one.
Studies say that smiling, even when forced, triggers natural mood boosting brain chemicals that in essence, help a person navigate the world more comfortably, with benefits for better social relationships and even improved stress recovery... which has a knock on effect towards physical health and keeping illness at bay.
It amazes me to think about how our survival and social efforts are linked.
Sometimes a smile can be misread and misconstrued as something that it is not, and there are smiles that oddly turn up on the faces of those who enjoy suffering. There are empathetic smiles in passing with reciprocal pedestrians, signifying the fleeting recognition of oneness that we share as a network of human beings. There is neutrality in expression where people are just getting through the day, some wishing to blend in unseen, others potentially deep in thought. Then there is the 'face like a slapped arse' that some describe, just before choosing to cross to the opposite side of the road even though it is not on their route. Avoiding that 'face like thunder' definitely screams survival when looking at the findings in the studies on smiling, although take that face of doom to a different context such as a gathering of social unrest, and it could quite easily support survival by signalling to others that there is trouble in the area ahead.. a signal that many choose to ignore until they see that people are literally running for their lives.
Smiles are becoming less frequent amongst us as a united human fabric, which tells me that unity amongst humans is declining. People might feel like they are connected online with a smiley emoji though various Social Media, however this is a non reality mirage that is changing the human brain at rates that I as a non user find alarming. Smiling is an important face to face human function which I hope that even more people will come to understand as a beneficial, important form of self expression... in the mood for it at the time or not.. there will be other occasions when a smile just happens naturally.
some non harmful smile inducing things to do; silly dancing, silly singing, comedy watching, acts of kindness, visiting the beach, having a full biscuit / treats jar / tin in the kitchen.
#smiling #survival #communication
Saturday 7th March 2026 ⋙
Freedom. BBC Sin City: The Real Las Vegas.
It was an interesting look under the freeway tunnels to see the life that lives underneath the glitz, showbiz, and money spending above, a very real divide that can also be seen brewing in some UK areas where gentrification is taking place, as well as in Detroit, Motor City, where a clean up is successful but still has the obvious ignored social issue of pushing locals away from what they knew and loved whilst growing up in their home towns. Some change can be expected in life but gentrification offers a very different payoff between the people that serve industries over real human lives instead of integrating to include them in the communities that are overhauled in this way.
Rents are increasingly unachievable for most whilst industries both new and old are reinvented and protected due to the crime rise which desperately seeks to meet the gap between the ability to afford to live and industrial business thriving. Increasing numbers of homeless people are moved on from spot to spot, whilst being handed a deeply patronising 'Golden Ticket' as seen in the second episode of this BBC Documentary, something I highly suspect that the host was most uncomfortable with herself.
A 'Golden Ticket' is presented to homeless people who are being asked to move on as some kind of shitty guilt giving exchange for them having to be asked to move on. It will not solve any of the homeless persons problems in the long run, but it does provide some access to services that cover things like a hot meal and a shower. There is nothing wrong with these genuine offers of goodness, however the presenting of a 'Golden Ticket' on being asked to move on, often repeatedly, is a jaw dropping moment to watch. It gamifies a real life system failure in yet another de-humanising reminder of the existing system that suffers them. One 'Golden Ticket' was seen to be tossed into a nearby gutter, I can appreciate why.
Homelessness [or sleeping out] is now a way of life for many, a way of life that is hard left behind for a another life that takes so much from people, and in many cases things that they just do not see a future in having access to. Aside from services, an industry in themselves, there is currently no systematic solution offered for those who are unable to get out of the lifestyle patterns that they know to work for them and within their means. Changing things will take many years, although the correct system has to be created to start changing the existence of homelessness on the streets in major cities. All I know is that if I was faced with two towering uniformed persons forcing me to move on from my chosen shelter* with any sort of 'Golden Ticket' in hand, I would tell them to fuck right off - no question. Sadly in the US I could be fined and jailed for refusing to move. The system has to change.
* provided that I was not in anyone's way or causing harm / nuisance
watch - bbc sin city: the real las vegas
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m002qqkm/sin-city-the-real-las-vegas
#survival #gamification #homelessness
Tuesday 10th March 2026 ⋙
Carefully Dodging the Abusive Person.
They cannot always be dodged, however best efforts can be made in order to dodge any person who means well for themselves and no one else by taking firm, no qualms action as soon as you suspect that there is something - and let's face it, the majority of us suspect that there is that something but ignore how we feel giving the person the benefit of the doubt anyway. It is time to eliminate that second chance, because one chance is all they need to get their foot in the door to destruction for as long as they can go on for.
I am never a fan of lists that can be found online, I see them as damaging.. so instead I weave some ways to dodge the bullet of destruction into words here which can help achieve success in remaining successful. You already have that feeling that something is not quite right about the person, and although you are not sure what it is, this does not matter - knowing is knowing and being wrong on occasion will be much better than having disregarded any first impressions that may well land you into a world of regret.
Independent people are so valuable in the world. Often unified in themselves and self sufficient in many ways, the abusive person will mostly target them first and with devaluation. This is in order to reduce the threat level to themselves due to their own feelings of inadequacy, which is an Inferiority Complex in action. This inferiority will often be masked with Superiority Complex which is then often mistaken for Self Confidence.
I have seen many businesses repeat the error of doing deals with highly abusive people in this regard, the banter of the supposed Self Confident person being so cheeky and off the cuff that it is funny at first. An ice breaker. Ultimately, this confident banter seeks to devalue and destroy. Staff who you would want to retain at all costs will leave. There is literally nothing worse than a bad apple, this works in the same way in social settings like home shares and even communities, one abuser seeks to rot the lot in order to ease their own horrendous, Inferiority Complex discomforts.
Aside from physical violence, psychological violence is the more silent form of abuse that those with Inferiority Complex will utilise amongst people. Smear Campaigns to devalue various threats seen in other people are the most commonly used tool because the injuries are only really seen when people start sharing information about what has been said and done behind closed doors, and when people begin to disbelieve the often wild, inaccurate smears that have been set against others, and between people.
It is the smear campaign that is the standout behaviour of a highly abusive person. These people come from long backgrounds of parental abuse in my view, however not all people from abusive backgrounds will continue the tradition, so be aware that bias does not grow in your mind whilst rooting out the rotten traditions of others. Look at what is being said about any target and reality match it with their actual behaviour, smear campaigns are only temporarily effective, and with those who believe everything someone says at face value rather than making an informed decision for themselves.
Depending on how far an abusive person has entered into your life or workplace, the above behaviours will be evident in some shape or form almost immediately. They can be ignored, or recognised.. there is no middle ground when it comes to abusive people. They are one way only and any duality in them will show up as a split style personality, behaving in one way that harms and seeks to destroy, and then in the opposite way, usually utilising their inferiorities in some kind of victim mode as an attempt to hide their behaviour from any exposure - the ultimate threat of extinction that they fear so much.
What happens after that is entirely up to you.
bad apple metaphor in history: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_apples
#abusivepeople #smearcampaign #superioritycomplex
Friday 13th March 2026 ⋙
Casualties of the Internet. Netflix Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere.
If you have read any of my other posts and watched this slight insight into the shitty world of misogyny and domestic abuse that is now re-framed as 'the manosphere', you will have spotted yet another pseudo psychology style term created on social media, dressed up as something a little more flattering sounding for what it really is. Please God, make it stop.
Men are having plenty more hideously overlooked problems than they used to have, and so are women as the rise of all sorts of abuse is repurposed in a separate online world to do their clout rounds. Currently these things make money in a newly packaged shock jock style that even parents choose to support, words not quite matching up with behaviour. I guess those ill-gotten gains are far more important to maintain in some peoples eyes. Contradictions all around.
I love Louis Theroux's programmes, but found watching this one really irritating, and just when I thought that nothing could be as irritating as the Jimmy Saville round. This is not only due to the intensity of the mess that people were flailing around in [yep, I am going to say it - largely due to social media], but also because of the complete and total disrespect of Louis Theroux, a professional in his game [i loved how he called them out for their brainwashed social media behaviour from the beginning], and as a humble human being just like the rest of us, an elder man with what I thought were a few attempts to try and put some of these people back on the right track. Unfortunately lost youth today is completely different to previous generations, this generation the sickest that I have known in my own lifetime.
My hope for the future on this one is that some of these guests on the show might be able to get on an update with Louis down the line, reflecting on bad choices they might have made and how they have changed a lot of their previous ideology. Something about social media and the way that people are able to generate income on it would have to change, including sexually, and there would also need to be some kind of humbling element to counter the arrogance that has filled their lives. Desperately thirty brains that are seeking the constant payoff of social media notifications need to have their spell broken... these are all ways of being which trickle down to those adoring fans and followers as the way to live a 'respectful' life. It is vastly socially misleading and unhealthy, and definitely a grim forecast of our social future that makes me want to vomit.
All of these misogynistic men have one main issue to recognise. They make a huge mistake in life. They mistake arrogance for confidence. Women who are not yet educated also see the arrogance and mistake it for confidence, women are reinforced as valuable for sex and servitude alone - fans followers again you guessed it, they learn to do just the same. They take it home and it breeds further into 'The Matrix'. I feel truly awful for Lily and Lana Watchowski, this is yet another one of the many ways that their brilliant creative work has been misused in the world.
Arrogance is the annoying loud wanker on the back of the bus or at the event. They are the ones with the embarrassing flash car and shoes with cropped trousers. They are the ones who shout rather than speak / attention seek, and they are the ones who will talk, and talk, and talk always right and never wrong.. sure to tell you how you are wrong and that you 'should have' done things their way, that you 'could have' but you are too beneath their nitrous oxide balloon sucking lifestyle for them to give a shit anyway. I liked seeing Louis Theroux pop those balloons a few times. As someone once told me as I walked past whilst he scooped up his friend from the floor from his high ' what goes up must come down'. Arrogance can only take you so far in life. Confidence is completely different. I am yet to meet a healthily confident abuser. Abusers (both male and female) are always the most exceptionally low self esteem people that I ever meet, despite what is going on for show, and boy do they uphold a show. Just underneath is the low self esteem that is strengthened daily by the behaviours that they know on some currently inaccessible level, are bad news.
watch - netflix louis theroux inside the manosphere https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81920687
big thanks to louis theroux and team for their work in such dark places
#abuse #misogyny #pseudopsychology
Saturday 4th April 2026 ⋙
Spiritual Psychopaths. To Dodge, or not To Dodge.
Some of us will only ever come across this type of manipulator in watching a documentary or through a friend or seekers story, however I find that the Spiritual Psychopath has been more common than the average psychopath in day to day life.. although I know that this will not be the same for everyone.
If like myself, you grew up in a home with strict Victorian values and yet a feral nature due to absent gaps in the presence of caregivers, you will fit well into the cult zone. Laden with people who have had Psychopathic tendencies emotionally and physically beaten out of them from a young age, cults are for the majority filled with genuinely good hearts who believe that they are on track to do the best possible thing with their lives, for humanity, thy will be done - but not my own. Psychopaths love this, so naturally enter the Spiritual Psychopath who is never on the lookout for this type of person because we seem to just keep flowing towards them regardless... hook, line, and sinker.
This one is going to be brief. I have a trillion and one observations to share on this subject, however those many observations are almost always better off in person, fitting the individual who needs to hear it in order to unravel the knot that they now find themselves in.
A Spiritual Psychopath can be any gender, females largely being overlooked.. which in my book, makes them much worse. Commonly overlooked forms of Spiritual Psychopath can be found right at home in a relative. Someones parents or caregivers, even an Aunt or Grandfather - they use Spirituality to get what they want, be it needs met, actions, results, or simple kicks to their brain chemistry. This is exactly the same when dealing with Spiritual Psychopaths nestled within the retreat, the yoga class, the workshop, you name it.. they will be there to pick you up when you are down and, in the same light as your day to day psychopath - they will put you to their own good use, assign you some kind of job or mission, and importantly inform you that it is meant to be. It is your birthright, after all.
Some things in life are meant to be, that is true Destiny, although coming across a Spiritual Psychopath is literally the only bit of any sort of spiritual 'awakening' that exists, because it will hopefully and quite quickly teach you that there is no panacea, and you can walk away much less scathed if scathed at all. It will depend on what your beliefs were before you went in and how devastating that loss is to you on the reality check. Some find that reality too devastating to admit, staying locked in unnecessary false bonds, often for long durations of time until they are no longer useful to the Spiritual Psychopath in any shape or form.
The Spiritual Psychopath is the one who claims that they can speak to or channel a beloved deceased friend or relative, keeping you hooked through their middleman stance, just as the God Man keeps people hooked as a direct line to whichever form of God that they have clocked that you have. Moreover and most importantly, the Spiritual Psychopath will be there to replace the parent or caregiver that you feel that is either missing or that you never had, especially if they too were psychopathic in nature.. tenfold. The ideal, absolute best person in the world will be there as a willing replacement to fill the gap that was left. They know this, and being the most clever, intelligent beings to have ever walked this very earth's crust.. they think that you do not know this. You will either line their pockets, or provide some other form of gains until you are no longer useful, be dispensed with and replaced with fresh meat.. unless you have read this article of course :).
Happy Easter.
spiritual psychopaths are rife in spiritual settings but can also appear as ideal partners, leading to a world of struggle until the relationship is ended - usually by them.
assets of any kind including being in the public eye are highly attractive to spiritual psychopaths.
#psychopath #spirituality #manipulation
Friday 24th April 2026 ⋙
Safely Navigating Spiritual Communities.
As mentioned in a previous post, Spiritual Communities can be one of the most problematic places when it comes to those on the Dark Triad side of the coin, but that does not mean that Spiritual Communities should be avoided entirely. There is still good stuff out there and definitely a journey to be had, although all journeys come to an end. Carefully navigating is the way through whilst building the ability to personally discern who is and who is not for you. This will be different in some way or another for everyone. Sure, there are plenty of lists and clips about this topic available online although lists can be insular and damaging, not to mention fear inducing.. plus there are many well informed documentaries that can be watched about these things instead. I think that documentaries although not always perfect in themselves, are far more accurate when it comes to being able to discern what is, was, or could be going on at your next workshop.
I have been very lucky on my own journeys. I have met some people who genuinely worked to serve humanity, and due to one of them leaving the UK, I ended up training in the same healing modality which had genuinely worked for me as a receiver. For various teachings across the board a teacher always appeared, no matter how obscure and whilst none of this journeying was ever easy, I was never a slave to someone else's lifestyle or project. I never will be either.
Safely navigating spiritual communities is important because not only are there sham teachers and guru's out there, there are also a whole host of problematic shit heads attending these groups and communities in attempt to pick up lost souls for their own missions, be it sex, sex magick, to generate large sums of money for alternate lifestyles, a conscious community (usually of slave like nature), or simply a plaything to exercise a strong need to control with and play off amongst others that they have picked up along the line - if you have checked out of life into the Spiritual Communities because life is definitely hard sometimes, do not make the mistake that many make. The grass is not greener on the other side, or in any other dimension.
People spend their entire lifetimes chasing an idea of enlightenment that simply does not exist. In the best of intentions, they pay and preach no ego although the very thing that drives them is the egoic clutching at this so called enlightened state for themselves. Grappling for an experience that will free them entirely. For who, I would ask, is this clutching, because essentially this is a split ideology that will almost certainly manifest itself in the mind at some point if continued, a dangerous wound to the self which is not easily walked back from, and often never walked back from at all.
Anything selling enlightenment sells an addiction, a misconception that is relied upon to keep people enslaved, and unfortunately those who were taught and are still yet to realise keep people enslaved as they were enslaved by it themselves, yet to realise that any enlightened state is illusory and not the truth that they were told that it was. Cycle repeat anyone? No thanks.
watch: trust me the false prophet https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81758532 - the leader of this group shows clear signs of schizophrenia.
watch: https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80145240 - the leader of this group is a master manipulator for personal gain.
#selfishness #spiritualcommunities #darktriad
Saturday 25th April 2026 ⋙
Women who Hate Other Women.
Rarely is it mentioned, especially when it comes to Mother and Daughter, and even Mother and Daughter in Law relations which I have seen are slightly more common, however Women who hate other Women completely exist. Like most hatred without an obvious root, Women who hate other Women are usually on that page as a choice to remain there through their own personal insecurities. They are being triggered in such a painful way that there is no ignoring them. Rather than work on these insecurities, they stand tall in them and never move on.
Older Women are not to be left out of this subject, often working overtime to unleash unashamed public hatred onto the subject of their ongoing pain, all whist they sit in a space of complete rationalisation and entitlement that their hatred is absolutely justified. Younger Women share the same insecurities and also fail to see their own personal standing in the world.. digging deeply into the lower areas of the belly where intense competitive urges bubble their way up through the nervous system, panic messaging the brain - is it any wonder that they desperately want to destroy any perceived threat in this case? No. However, through their triggered blindness, and with a lack of other Women who will risk being the next hated object, they are much less likely to be able to receive valuable feedback and work through things for themselves so that they can move beyond this stagnant state.
Nobody has a better deal in life, even though the biases and birthrights of life experience and social media are cruelly levelled to tilt minds into the opposite direction. Some may have better chances than others, some may be younger than others, and some may be more skilled at something or appear to 'have it easy', but at the end of the day everybody has their own personal neuronal network of struggles, no matter what environment, status or background that those networks were surrounded by when they formed. Women who hate other Women fail to see this and fail to recognise their own humanity when they de-humanize other women.. known to them or unknown. It might be only human to hate from time to time, but to remain in a grudge is a stagnant pool headed for the next infectious dis-ease.
Women who hate other Women usually have many wonderful Women walk clean out of their lives on a frequent basis, related and unrelated. They do not stick around because they know their worth, and are unwilling to be the disrespected doormat of those who will never grow to understand that diversity is the beauty of humanity, and is the key to how we all get somewhere collectively with value in each different standpoint and set of skills. These Women go on to continue to create good things either way, sans their oppressors. Two pairs of hands are certainly better than one, and I have seen time and time again that in the attempts to destroy one another, Women who Hate other Women always wind up destroying good things being accomplished that they want to have in their lives, whilst inadvertently destroying themselves in a long drawn out process.
If you are a Woman who has experienced unwarranted hatred from other Women, know steady - it is not your fault.
resolving envy can be very helpful to women of any age who hate other women.
working with partners to establish or re-establish absent relationship security can be very helpful to women who hate other women.
internalised misogyny plays a part for many women who hate other women.
read; will i ever be good enough - healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: https://willieverbegoodenough.com/about-will-i-ever-be-good-enough big thanks to meredith for sharing this book with me
#hatred #women #insecurities
Wednesday 29th April 2026 ⋙
Serial Projectors. Projecting as a means to Protect.
If you have been involved with an emotional abuser or manipulator in your life you will likely have been psychologically projected upon many times. Loosely described on wikipedia, Psychological Projection is described as - 'the process by which one attributes one's own individual positive or negative characteristics, affects, and impulses to another person or group... often as a defence mechanism in which unpleasant or unacceptable impulses, stressors, ideas, affects, or responsibilities are attributed to others'.
This weird warped world is exactly that until it is fully understood by the victim for the reality based thing that it is. Only then can non-realities be called out in real time and discounted, keeping the delusion firmly in the mouths and minds of the projector for them to either continue on into their own malady, or understand and be able to self reflect in order to repair this dysfunctional mode of thinking. Not everybody projects in an abusive way, and it certainly does not have to happen.
Teaching kids about this psychological warfare tactic is a great way to arm them against emotional abusers and manipulators alike. WE all want our children to be kind in the world and foster good, decent human to human behaviours, not only because this is just beautiful anyway but it really boils down to survival. People with disturbing, antisocial behaviour are often found irritating and are rejected by those who are healthily socialised, this is no good for our tribal survival based brains, and in the next breath, kind people are food for all types of manipulators. Kind people are often seen as finishing last or being doormats.. that is until they go on to naturally repulse and repel any interested predator with their emotional intelligence skills.
Projection is exactly what wikipedia outlines above. When people come to you with a perception that is completely out of your character, that is because it is quite literally not your character. In reality, every single word that comes out of the mouth of these abusers is always an exact description of the person and their own issues that they battle with themselves. What a window, and it is wide open for all to see.
Paradoxically, in attempting to defend themselves by projecting their stuff upon another, they expose everything that they have in their dirty laundry basket, classic no boundary style and in a cycle that once the object of their projection rejects as nonsense, is retained firmly in the mind of the projector. Any target remains self contained and strong in who they are, impervious to this largely abusive, psychological warfare tool.
Projection protects an extremely delicate sense of self worth and sense of self that has tightly bound itself with things like arrogance, misogyny, misandry, and superiority complex. A true prison. These little hearts that did not get to achieve confidence and sense of self milestones during childhood can sometimes learn with the correct direction and if they have the ability to self reflect, though this responsibility is no one else's but their own. The chance for them to make a decision might arrive should they experience a psychologically strong rebuttal as described above, meaning that in practice.. the art of looking after one's self subtly opens up an opportunity for the person stuck in a cycle of abusive projection to either lift themselves out of their weird warped worlds, into a stronger and genuinely safer place - a very real, individual, valuable, boundaried, and fully grounded sense of self.
read: psychological projection as described on wikpedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection
decent people can project their good values onto complete and utter bastards, leaving them open to surprise abuse down the line. seeing people in reality, just as they are sans any fantasies helps in resolving this issue. social media exacerbates this issue.
#emotionalabuse #manipulation #projection
Thursday 30th April 2026 ⋙
Death Threats and Control.
Plain and simple, death threats are the ultimate means of control.
I discovered this the hard way through my own life experiences, first at home with a parent who was on a persistent death bed as a result of Munchausens Syndrome.. likely intertwined with Schizophrenia, secondly in various children's homes where I witnessed others using threats to their own lives to get staff to do what they wanted, eventually myself included when I was faced with being sent to live in a different unit where one of the staff was a pedophile, this member of staff having clocked me a week previously. Lastly, in a long term relationship where I was persistently threatened with being killed by 'having an accident', and being killed by a hit man, with nobody able to find me.
These threats came from highly controlling people. I myself as a 15 year old girl had a high need to control to keep myself safe from a pedophile. I have not had to shrink to the same level since although for many people, the means to control another person is not conducive to the other person's life and really only serves to meet some selfish need. Sally W - if you are by chance ever reading this I am sorry.
Having had to leave home at a young age and then having had the ability to make some pretty grown up decisions for myself, I enjoyed being fiercely independent. I loved that I could do things in the world without having to rely too much upon others and enjoyed being in the world in an un-harmful way, yet mostly on my own terms. Independence meant Freedom to me as a 16 year old young lady and I still hold this as one of my personal values today. There is something about an independently free personality that is high game for predators. It is seen by predators as something to be taken down and dominated over. I have seen various other females sharing the same traits end up in relationships with highly controlling partners, and who also often dealt them the same death threat card on a regular basis.
The thing with death threats is that they challenge our existence entirely. Death threats appeal to very deep rooted survival mechanisms within us all as human beings, so deep that even if such comments are 'taken on the chin, or are taken as said in the 'heat of the moment', they get into the brain and remain there unconsciously - and with enough repeat occurrences, a pliable brain is now more subservient and kept in line, until what is going on is realised and snapped out of, often after many years of abuse down the line.
Death threats are also used as a means to control in political fields. They are increasingly used as a means to remove someone from their role or job. These attempts are a means to control and are made by those who battle with power in themselves, which then projects outward into the world upon those who they see are natural leaders. Teachers, decision makers, celebrities, bosses… those with even a little clout in the world are to be taken down. Assassins, would be Assassins, and highly controlling partners share the same thing in common. They share an inferiority complex that spurs them on to become effective, important (sometimes through fame), or superior in their own eyes in order to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling of inferiority that they cannot resolve within themselves. In generally free human beings, this internal power struggle is created by an unidentified yet inherent sense of freedom that all human beings share purely by birthright, it just remains unidentified within and in some cases incorrectly identified within and then acted upon without. A chance of resolution can only come with recognising what freedom means individually for them, and in a long setting face to face, spending time with individuals who are self realised. No medication in the world can do this for someone. It has to come from social learning.
People who recognise what freedom is individually for them are less likely to have urges or needs to control others because they understand that what is in them is also in all others. They recognise and understand basic equality. Those who have not been able to recognise that all is one and one is all have a high need to control independent, free individuals who recognise equality because they rarely have any self control in themselves. They see the other as an oppressive final boss to overcome and conquer, often running on a brain chemistry induced delusion that they will become the hero who defeated the monster in their view.. although this perceived monster exists as a figment of their imagination only, perhaps also in any supporters who wish to entertain themselves in a further arm of controlling behaviour, usually whilst hiding behind a screen.
The way through such controlling behaviour?
1 - Resist the threats and all safety considered, persist in what you are doing. 2 - Recognise any dissociation and take part in favourite activities or hobbies to restore your own presence in reality. 3 - Take reasonable actions that help you feel safe, regardless of if they are needed or not, do whatever it takes. 4 - Remember that it is not any kind of weakness to have felt fear during threats and even attempts at one's life, this is simply a deep survival mechanism in our nature that has enabled us to go on to survive and live here alive and well on planet Earth as we stand as humans today.
There are arguments against basic equality, and various meanings for it, however for me basic equality rests in the fact that regardless of anything else, each and every one of us is a human - nothing less and nothing more.
#control #manipulation #inferioritycomplex
read; controlling people by patricia evans https://www.simonandschuster.co.uk/books/Controlling-People/Patricia-Evans/9781440501906
read; power struggle on wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_struggle
read; inside the mind of an assassin on psychology today - this is a really great, eye opening article https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/slightly-blighty/202407/inside-the-mind-of-an-assassin
evident in his facial signalling, the latest would be assassin in the world shares an overly high regard and adoration for himself in his selfie images, likely considering himself a large scale hero. the hubris is real on this one.
Monday 25th May 2026 ⋙
Autism or Psychopathy? That is the the question.
I love that searching for information online is still kind of in this safe zone, where there are plenty of real people with real experiences and education that they can share with the world. Edging into pessimism in foresight (could be a good UK region name) which helps me navigate my own learning from time to time, Artificial Agents and Intelligence are in my vision going to destroy that completely one day, but like every destruction there will always be a new creation born from that. An unfortunate uprising of human based social media that refuses to understand it's deeply harmful nature.
A YouTube clip by DoctorRamani which is linked below was so insightful to watch, although the comments are rapidly reassuring where some things said in the clip do not quite fit right in to the patterns discussed.. in saying that I would like to highlight that in no way is this article meant to dislodge the work and knowledge of the original poster, if you have read my posts before you will know that everyone brings something to the table and even what I say here is up for debate and further learning with everyone, either way.
The debate on the clip is between Autism being different from Narcissism, already a battle for me as I have learned that all of us are narcissistic.. but if the slider gets slid too far either end of that scale, problems will exist. Sliders gonna slid. There is no harm in plenty of narcissistic style behaviours that can occur, even though others might pettily use them to frown on others to position their own unrealised narcissistic behaviour. Healthy narcissism does exist, even though in paradox it does breed the other end of the scale. One could not exist without the other.. and both will likely exist eternally - whilst our brains are where they are in evolution now at least.
Another trouble learned for me is that the dark triad behaviour style that has been pumped into the term 'narcissist' over the past eight years or so is actually Psychopathy. This is where pseudo-psychology really slaps everyone in the face, and where Psychology in general can go completely awry as more unnecessary pages are added to the DSM, a book of biblical proportions that I have never seen, but keep being reminded of in various references.. perhaps a wake up slap in the face for me :).
I don't want to get into too much else about other points in the clip, particularly on autism, but to cut to the chase and answer the question that people keep asking and in their terms ... why is autism different from narcissism, well there are a few points to be made.
[a] autism is not narcissism on either side of the scale
[b] being autistic does not equate to being narcissistic [pseudo-psych style], and
[c] being autistic does not mean that someone cannot be a psychopath /cough narcissist.
There is no one or the other. People spending time on social media and even generally online have become obsessed with lists of traits and the term narcissism, that's my hot take anyway, and as outlined in the paradox mentioned above.. those who are out there publicly banding others as narcissists not only expose themselves as just so themselves, they fuel a massive shift in that sliding scale whilst pulling a blindfold of decency over there eyes that may take decades to realise and look beyond. Many people notice that society is becoming more 'narcissistic', although self interested is likely a better general term, and we wonder why. Luckily this paradox explains a large part of the problem for me at least.
How to solve the issue for anyone who might be reading and might still seek an answer to the question 'autism or narcissist'?, an easier way through is to look at the original issue of psychopathy, observe the subject in question and ask yourself > does this person enjoy hurting other people?
If we are talking about narcissism as in the psuedo-psychology demon that has been created online, and largely through social media, then it pays to remember that Psychopaths enjoy hurting other people. The rest for me is futile thinking, symbolic really of the utter confusion that Psychopathic people create in their many prey. I hope that this simple tip will save you some valuable time in your life, which is yours to enjoy.
Have a great Monday.
watch; dr ramani why autism is different from narcissism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEDda93M_mg
many people, including autisic people are branded narcissists. this is the lack of understanding that people have when it comes to differences in behaviour and poorly informed education, usually found via social media trends. highly damaging in my book.
#autism #psychopathy #narcissism
Monday 25th May 2026 ⋙
Piss, Glass, and No Blood.
This post carries a warning that it clearly describes instances of domestic violence and abuse that may be disturbing, and may trigger vicarious trauma for some. Please be responsible for yourself.
Writing a post like this has been a long time coming, and it really follows on from my last post about psychopaths above as little did I know that this time in my life, in 1999, would be an astounding learning curve for me that helped move me into a clear understanding of psychopathy in action just generally amongst human beings in a relational sense. I had been trying to work this out [and am still learning] since I was around six years of age, not too long after I had realised that my parents were a very different kettle of fish compared to the other parents in the school playground collecting their kids - comparisons are more likely terrible I agree, but not in every sense and this one was definitely a helpful one for me.
It was roughly around four in the morning. I had woken in my usual pattern of around ten minutes before the arrival of my then long term partner who had not turned up earlier in the evening as planned. This was not unusual. I pretended that I was asleep for as long as possible, usually this plan worked and he would just fall asleep somewhere in the flat until mid morning when things would be much safer... but not this time.
Naked, talking nonsense and tumbling to the floor multiple times, I had to get up and give him a hand out of the repetitive loop that he was stuck in, unable to stop slipping and falling over in the pool of his own urine that he had sprayed all over the hallway laminate floor. There are some things that I will always remember and it was this fragrance of piss and alcohol that still makes it difficult for me to walk down certain high streets today, an exposure I would much rather dodge.
'You fucking enjoy this don't you, you fucking bitch, you love it don't you' were amongst some of the then unexplainable accusations thrown at me that I could not work out. The next thing I recall is being flat on my back on the floor where he was, in the urine, surrounded by glass and with his teeth and spit, shouting down through teeth at me as he intermittently spat as much saliva as he could gather into my face. He clenched the broken neck end of the large whisky savings bottle that I had in the hallway.. I kept my work tips in there every day to keep towards treats and y'know, this is not what I had in mind.
It is exceptionally difficult to remain present in situations like this, and as I learned much later in life, my memory gaps were the coping mechanism rather than me having 'made it all up'. I always remember those teeth and the angry sound spitting over me, and I always remember hoping that it would be over soon, live or die. He loved spitting in my face during an outburst, whilst in words and just generally anyway. Those memories are more faded today, although there is one memory that I will keep with me for life.
A slight stinging in my left inner elbow brought me around, I looked at it and saw a wide red cut, no blood just this weird flesh. I had pyjama bottoms and a t shirt on - with Totes Toasties - I considered myself lucky. I tried to get a couple of times before being pushed back down, shouting ' I need to get up please'. Frustrated, I asked him 'why do you do this?' and boy did he tell me, 'I get a kick out of it, alright? I enjoy it. I get a kick out of it' as if he was almost asking me to accept this as my life and leave it there. Deep in his own self admiring introspection, I took the opportunity and quickly slid myself backward into the wall and got up. I nearly strangled myself in the process with my t shirt but I did it. I kept repeating in a regular tone that I had cut myself, so I needed to go and get it seen to. It was the strangest thing to see him suddenly and in an instant what appeared to be sober, a pale shade of green and then stating how he will look like such a bastard if I go to the hospital, so I should not go. Clutching my little Motorola StarTac and coin purse for my life I told him that I had to go and that he should stay here and get some sleep. Did I hate Sabrina Carpenters recent comment about pearl clutching with regards to her questionable album image? Yes I did.
I ordered a cab whilst he paced back and forth the flat with a pint glass of water, still starkers, stinking of piss more than alcohol by now. I waited for what seemed to be the longest time of my life to get through the door of the and then run down the communal stairs to the cab. Guess who came running down behind me. He was like the fucking terminator, luckily clothed. I kept up my speed, with the excuse that it was because I wanted to get this sorted out quickly. 'Lock the doors drive', he took full control of the journey and I did not speak at all, nor pay for the cab.
We arrived at accident and emergency and sat waiting for three hours. Just as we had got there, a girl slightly younger than myself was there with someone else who was having their stomach pumped. She and him knew each other well and began to laugh and joke after the initial conversation about how I had 'been out and cut myself' was over. He belittled me for crying and being emotional over nothing, they both laughed and continued a cosy conversation whilst I sat and waited non existent, silent in tears, preferable really but it was then that I felt like a train had hit me, my entire body in heaving pain for roughly three hours. I really did not believe that I would make it through this one. I had to get out, I stood up and said that I was not going to wait longer. A nurse checked me before I left and asked me not to leave, I just told her that i could not stay any longer. He again belittled me for this and announced that I was a difficult and crazy person to the whole waiting room including the nurse, whose facial expression told me that she agreed. He explained to the nurse and me, that I was always like this and that he would not be coming with me.. he was going to stay with the young lady at the hospital. It was a weird mix of annoying relief that I felt. I slowly walked outside to the taxi rank in a fleeting moment of freedom, nobody followed me and I paid for my own cab.
Psychopaths enjoy hurting other people, they get a kick out of it. This is the memory that I will always keep with me, hearing first hand and mid survival directly from a psychopath. It was shocking to hear at the time and as I went on to observe in various other psychopaths, both male and female, they enjoy causing pain and suffering to others both physically and psychologically - sometimes separately and sometimes together as dual weaponry.
If you pattern watch in psychopaths when they arise, you may even capture a glimpse of them smiling in delight when they see evidence of any hurt that they have caused. Psychopaths may have many narcissistic tendencies on the darker end of the scale, but it does not make them any less than what they are in my book.
People who enjoy hurting other people are psychopaths. I got the poof live and direct.
#domesticviolence #psychopathy #narcissism
some handy things that helped me through:
cardiff womens aid: https://cardiffwomensaid.org.uk/
a very brief awareness of psychological projection https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/projection
having a trade and somehow being able to hold a job down in that trade in various manifestations, never mind any gaps due to life events.
music.
things that did not help me through;
police in Wales. it took me a while to go to them once i had left this relationship and things got worse. they did nothing and even supported the other party on some occasions.
the justice system in Wales. this system worked entirely in the abusers favour once i had managed to leave this relationship, meaning that abuse continued and was extended through others.
this also did not help but is mentioned in my post. article title being 'approved by god' only worsened the situation for me: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq6myp7582do
Monday 25th May 2026 ⋙
Speakers and Coaches; A New Kind of Predator.
Just when you think you've got enough education and progress to get through some of the most hardened manipulative situations, shit just got worse and rapidly thanks to the new Big Boys toys AI and it's agents. Artificial Intelligence is apparently ready to improve our lives and create a completely workless society, but as my ol' grandma used to say /ok no she didn't/... the devil makes work for idle hands.
The idea that humans will be workless is kind of the catchphrase of a few, widespread and in my view highly untrue, as we humans love to do something, although I understand that a fraction of Daily Mail readers will be brainwashed enough to believe that all benefit claimants actually enjoy a life of being sat around doing absolutely nothing and going absolutely nowhere in life as far as goals are concerned - these people are usually succumbed addicts and do not enjoy life as much as they may have done without the past trauma that paved the way to their present drug and even food addictions.
Jobs for humans being entirely obliterated and a personal risk of being 'left behind' if not embracing all that AI and its Agents have to offer, is generating enough online fear and insecurity for it's partakers that they are modelling their entire lives on future proofing what might happen if they have no work. Yet just like magic, various well known speakers and coaches are saving people. Yes that's right, they can save you and your family and everything will be fine because they DO have jobs for you - make it make sense.
Here's just one catch for these coaches. It will bite back on the arse and there will be nothing that can be done about that smooth circular pattern of cause and effect.
In their process of harvesting the general public for staff to do the menial tasks that will keep their data centres and networks going, disillusionment will be real and resentment will set in. People will leave and they will feel disgruntled because they will realise, person by person that they have been misled by someone that they trusted, likely for many years beforehand, the betrayal will be real. They will realise that other jobs on the market that they would have preferred will likely still exist, with old friends or family members in areas, states, and even countries that they left being a stark reminder that they were duped into working for something that did not quite pan out as expected. This is before the errors that a human workforce could get beyond halt businesses for hours if not days until resolution, and also before hackers work out how to utilise things for their own benefit, which already destroys companies regardless of any presence of AI.
People are limited in their skills and not everybody wants to be a super coder, unravelling an AI generated or Agent led destructive knot, and not everybody will want to work within the toxic hum of a data centre. Those harvesting people through fear know this and are happy to manipulate people in to keep their cash flow going strong through what I see will be a highly rebellious time for human beings, a time where a majority of us will point blank refuse to give up our own rights to personal professionalism and ability to dream up and chase our own personal human goals in life. AI already disputes humans who disagree with it, and for those who cannot see AI and it's agents for what it is, survival will be much harder not only because of the various illusions involved for the human brain, but because those who can and do separate AI and it's agents from actual living beings are going to do their best to try and convince those of us who have a little less understanding in life that what we see is real and valuable.. a truly manipulative time ahead.
#artificialintelligence #jobs #manipulation
